Day 22 of 22 of temporary single motherhood
Well, I feel slightly guilty saying this, but this past week has been utter blissikins. I took Rara to Vancouver on Tuesday to put her on the plane to Europe to meet her daddy, was emotionally chaotic for about 15 hours, then, once I knew she was safe, the week of super Zen began.
I started the week with an hour of sitting and walking meditation at Shambhala, followed by dinner at Hernande'z with my sister. It was a scorching hot day, but after meditation, at 8pm, it had cooled down a bit and we rode our bikes through the warm evening to the Fernwood location, which is completely open and gorgeous and breezy.
During meditation, I could feel all the rivers of sweat flowing down my back, my chest, my forehead. Fighting the urge to stand up and go wipe myself down or at least shift my position to speed up the trickle, I eventually gave in and allowed myself to be entertained by my body's reaction to the extreme heat. Later, sitting in the restaurant, I ate my chile relleno, rice and beans slowly, sipped a Phoenix beer and sweated some more.
Deetman wanted to sleep in my bed every night of course and why say no? I couldn't think of any reason, so I never did. We had our Friday night pizza, pop and video and we got all crazy and watched both Wall-E and The Triplets of Belleville. We also laid in bed and watched Absolutely Fabulous on my mom's laptop.
The office has been getting slightly emptier with each passing summer week as more and more people take vacation time, furlough, and banked time. On Friday we were at 20% capacity, with just 4 people in the office. At first, the loneliness got me down, but during Zen week, I really got into the groove of the quiet. I discovered that having no one come to talk to you means that you can sit in your desk and write code! Shocker. I had some hardish problems to solve and did them by hard thinking that I couldn't have done with the office full.
Then it was the BC Day long weekend and Deetman and I did a whole lot of nothing. In fact, Saturday and Sunday were spent in the way that I really love most, which is pottering around my house and garden, doing things that need to be done, but doing them in my way, at my pace, and letting myself get distracted if I feel like it. Example: fill the sink with hot water to do the breakfast dishes, but then remember that all the Shasta daisies in the garden need to be dead-headed, and my pruners are so fun and satisfying to use and oh well, I think I'll just quickly pop up and go dead-head the daisies, then come back and do the dishes.
Another example: cleaning out the car is always at the very bottom of my to-do list. But I was kind of in the mood to do it on Saturday during Deetman's nap so I ignored higher-priority items and just did it. And vacuumed it and then, when he got up, took it to a car wash and filled it with gas and put a freaking AIR FRESHENER in it. This is unprecented. But whatevs, it's Zen week, we do all sorts of crazy things.
I made gazpacho, which somehow I've never done before. That wasn't crazy or weird, but it was fun.
I finally, finally staked my peas. Several of the vines were taller than me and untangling the mess was a major pain in the ass, but I'm a knitter, and I'm Zenned out, I can handle it.
We went to church on Sunday morning and the music was so good that I had to go shake the hands of all the musicians afterward.
Then, to cap the Zen week, I ran my first 18k on Monday morning. It was really easy and I don't know exactly why, except to say that running is just weird sometimes. It was about 100 times easier than last weekend's 17k and I ran it in the same time that I ran the 17k. Which was the same time that I ran the 15k the week before. If this trajectory continues, I will soon be the world's fastest long distance runner.
So hooray. I like being able to look back at a period of time and say that was good, I was happy, I was at peace. I had little stress, I met my objectives ( which admittedly were not lofty : just take care of Deetman and the house and not get fired ), I enjoyed myself. I read Evelyn Waugh. I drank a little wine. I made up a new shrimp taco recipe. I mean, seriously, it was the perfect week.
In one hour, the other half of my family touches down in Vancouver. Deetman gets to sleep with me for one more night.
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