Today is day nine of twenty-two of being a temporary single parent. Tobias is in Europe again, doing whatever it is he does over there, and the kids and I are going it alone. 'Cept we're not really alone, because my mom lives in the basement and she's actually around these days ( she travels a lot ) and my sister is in town ( she lives in Tanzania a lot ) and they're both doing a lot of childcare for me this summer.
The reason we need childcare is that our nanny, Nanny ( the kids actually do call her this ), ceased working for us and moved away at the beginning of July. She had been Deetman and Rara's nanny for two years and it was a very emotional goodbye for all of us. Even Tobias, I think. The reason she moved away is that she completed her BA at the university and is moving on to bigger and better.
So until school starts, my patchwork-quilt childcare schedule is even more patchy than usual. Starting in September, the Deetman will be in a full-time preschool and Rara will be in after school care. Deetman will have been on the waiting list for his preschool for ten months by the time he actually gets in. It will be a welcome change to have him doing the same thing every day, finally. I really hope he likes the preschool.
So what is life like for a temporarily-single mother of two who works full-time? Oh, well, it's a little dull. I focus a lot on making things enjoyable for the kids during the time we are together, feel guilty when we're not together, hate my job a lot, miss my spouse, and wonder what the point of everything is. It's a little grim, frankly. It makes me wonder if my expectations for life are just too high.
What's kind of neat about a temporarily-reduced family size, though, is the freedom it affords the rest of this. I'm inclined to say "When Dad's away, we have more fun" but I know that this is also true when I'm away, so it's a magic that happens whenever the two-parent, two-kid dynamic is altered in any way. Tonight is extra special because Deetman fell asleep in the car at 6:30 pm ( this has never happened ) and Rara and I find ourselves with a free evening.
We sat in the kitchen eating chips and drinking water ( her ) and wine ( me ) and listening to RevisionQuest. Then the news came on and I had to explain to her about that whole Rideau Canal thing which is not something I really ever want to explain to her. But she's ten ( as of last Monday ) and I guess it's okay that she starts to very gently, in a very controlled way, be introduced to some of the horribleness of the world.
Now we are down in the computer room, her brother is blissfully sleeping and Rara is sitting next to me using her Grandma's laptop to update her profile on New Moon Girls and watch Potter Puppet Pals on YouTube. She is laughing her ass off at the moment, watching "Wizard Swears".
Hey, do you want to know why we were in the car at 6:30 pm anyway? This is not a normal time for us to be in the car. Actually, there is no normal time for us to be in the car, since we don't use it much. But anyway, I won't keep you in suspense, but instead will announce that we were visiting a piano studio where, at long last, Rara will be studying piano with a proper instructor in the fall. Whee! I am really excited about this development, even though it goes against my policy of not committing to any ongoing activities for the family that involve driving.
I have been ineffectively and half-assedly teaching her piano for six years and she's made about as much progress as she could have in six months under someone else's tutelage. It's time to take this seriously. To make space, she is quitting art school, which she has enjoyed for three years, but feels ready to leave behind her.
Somehow I have to arrange childcare for the weekend that will allow me to do my 17k training run. Half-marathon prep stops for no man.
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