A few weeks ago, my eldest child was annoying me in some way and I thought to myself, "This child is spoiled rotten! What she needs is some good hard work, and to help those less fortunate!" So I decided that I would seek out a good volunteer opportunity for her. Her father argued that it's not really "volunteer" work if I force her to do it. I think "forced labour" is also a fine label, whatever, I don't care, just so long as she does something worthy and thinks about someone other than herself for a few consecutive moments. ( Disclaimer: this is not my general impression of my beloved daughter who is really very compassionate, kind, and thoughtful, but like all nine-year-olds, she has her moments. )
The problem with most volunteer work is that you have to be an adult, or at least a teenager, to do it. But today at my church there was an opportunity to do a couple of hours of sorting, organizing, cleaning, and packing little bags of toiletries, socks, towels, and other small necessaries. These "Dignity Packs" are given out to street folks downtown and though I think the name of the project gets across the idea nicely, I'm really hoping they don't use the same terminology with the receivers of the packets, because it's a wee bit condescending.
Anyway, as I was leaving to drop Rara off at the church for her Dignity Packing -- an activity she readily agreed to, by the way, so no forced labour after all -- Deetman wanted to join us for the car ride and I said, "Sure, it will just be five minutes, I'm dropping Rara off".
Rara's jaw dropped and she said "But I thought you were coming with me!"
"No, I asked you earlier in the week and you said you were okay with going alone."
"No I didn't! I'm too scared to go by myself."
"M'hija, we talked about this and you said it was fine. I'm not even dressed, I don't have a bra on, I haven't washed my face or brushed my teeth or had breakfast. I can't go with you. You'll be fine on your own."
"No I woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-on't!. I'm too scared. I won't know anybody. I won't go."
( SIGHING )
"Oh alright, I'll check if it's alright with your father."
( YELLING )
"Bun, is it okay if me and Deetman go with Rara? We'll be back in two hours!"
Tobias agreed happily ( a chance to clean the bathroom in peace ) and we were off. I was extremely shabbily dressed, unbathed, with last night's mascara smeared under my eyes, no bra, and absolutely foul morning/coffee breath. I hoped our fellow workers would have the good grace to pretend not to notice.
We arrived to find about a dozen seniors working hard at sewing, filling toiletry bottles, and packing. Rara and I were given the job of sorting through two large gooey bags full of used, half-empty bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body balm. One of the local hotels had donated them. That was a tough job because there was a lot of standing and stooping. Our hands got very disgusting and once we rinsed them off, they felt very dry.
Once that job was finished, we were told that we could leave if we wanted, but I was determined to stay the allotted two hours so I set to work putting pieces of paper into ziploc bags and Rara sat down at the table where the bottles were being carefully washed and dried in big, warm, soapy tubs, before being refilled. She did that job for about an hour.
Meanwhile, Deetman was cooed over by all the old ladies and did a good job of amusing himself with a subset of the church toys, which are deemed vastly superior to his own toys, by virtue of his only getting to use them once a week.
At the end, we helped clean up a bit and the kids received lots of pats on the head for hard work and good behaviour. Rara was annoyed that her brother got almost as much credit as she did when "He didn't even do anything!" but overall she was very satisfied with her first volunteer experience. She mentioned it several times later in the day, telling Tobias and I that it was a lot of fun and that she loved the idea that she was helping people.
As an added bonus, she was in a great mood all day, her stubborn side didn't come out, her don't-talk-to-me-when-I'm-busy-reading-Harry-Potter-for-the-twentieth-time attitude took a holiday, and she happily did everything I asked her to do ( set the table, get her brother a drink, put away her belongings, etc. ) without any griping and without me having to ask twice.
A miracle.
We will be doing more dignity packing at the next opportunity.
Gratuitous photo. Notice sushi pillow from Ragpickers.
