Deetman is still 3 1/2 years shy of the lower age limit for our Tae Kwon Do club, but he is already sparring. When he and I go to drop Rara off, he has taken to scrapping with whichever members are hanging around, waiting for class to start. Those white pyjamas are to his 3 1/2 year old brain what red is to a bull. Luckily, the club members treat him like a little mascot, and are more than happy to mess around with him and suffer his blows. Just like in the grocery store, the library, the beach, the park, churhc, my office, and Rara's school, he easily charms people and makes friends with virtually everyone he meets.
I encourage the scrapping, because I am hoping that our head instructor will see Deetman's enthuasiasm ( I've also taught him to bow when he enters the dojang ) and let him in the club a year or two early.
Rara started just six weeks after her fifth birthday, but the rules changed a couple years later. Now, new members must be seven. This is annoying to me but the truth is, our classes are "All ages" and only an extraordinary five-year-old has the attention span to cope with 90 minutes of instruction in that environment. ( Rara was not extraordinary, and was "benched" a few times in her first year for losing focus and messing around. )
Today, Deetman interacted with J for the first time. J is a club member around eleven years of age, male, who has some physical developmental challenges. Mentally, he is typical, but he has trouble speaking and coordinating his limbs and a few other relatively minor challenges. I'm not trying to be PC by saying "challenges", rather than "disabilities". I use the term because I know J, and I really truly see the things that are different about him as challenges. They're things that I think he will conquer. And seeing as how he's already a yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do, he's conquered quite a bit already.
Anyway, I just wanted to give some context on J, so that you can understand why Deetman might come up to me this evening at the club and say ( sotto voce ) "Why does that guy talk funny?"
J was within earshot, and I made the quick decision not to whisper, but to say in a normal tone of voice "That's J, and his mouth is shaped a little differently so it's harder for him to talk. Do you want to fight him?"
I thought whispering it would be the wrong thing, possibly making J think "They're talking about me" and I figured it was better to just say it out loud. He didn't seem to be listening anyway, so it didn't mater.
I admit, I was hoping that Deetman didn't want to probe the issue. J and I are great friends in the club but we've never specifically talked about the way he speaks, for example, or the fact that him limbs are a little more unwieldy than other club members. I wasn't sure he'd relish overhearing Deetman, in his o-so-tactful 3.5-year-old way, itemize J's deficiencies.
But Deetman didn't need to explore the subject further. Once I mentioned the fighting, he just smiled big and nodded his head, then made his way over to J, bared his teeth, and started scrapping. J put on his biggest smile and fought back, in the way that one does with a toddler, alternately allowing them to land a few punches and holding their wrists to protect oneself from too much harm. It was very cute to watch. ( We martial arts moms have an atypical definition of "cute", perhaps. )
Later, at home, Deetman asked if J coulcome for a sleepover. Rara had had her best friend stay over after ET last week and Deetman had been very disappointed to discover that N was going to share a bed with Rara and not with him.
This time, he specified, "I want that boy --- "
"J?"
"Yes, J. I want J to sleep over and I want him to sleep with me, not Rara!"
His sister made a gagging noise at the mere idea. ( Boys are disgusting, don't you know )
"So can he Mommy, please? I want someone to sleep with."
"Well, not tonight, Deetman. When you're big."
"How big?"
"Big".
Unfortunately for Deetman, that's always the answer.
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