Ending Coward

I've just sent off a couple of emails that have been a long time coming.  They are resignation letters for two jobs I've been doing, one paid, one not.  I'm feeling a little bit raw right now, but considering how long I put off those letters, it's not as bad as I thought.  Incidentally, it is much easier to resign from a paid position than a volunteer one.  Funny, that. 

I have never been good at ending things.  I tend to disappear, rather than look someone in the eye and say "Okay, this is over now."  As part of my "Become a Better Person in my Thirties" scheme, I am working on this. 

Small steps: weaving in the ends of yarn in my knitting projects, rather then leaving them in a perpetual "nearly done" state.   

Mediums steps:  explaining to the JWs that have been visiting me that I am really not interested. 

Big steps: hmm.  Well, I guess the resignation letter for the volunteer position (choir director at church, if you must know) was a big one.  So I should feel good about that, I guess?  Maybe tomorrow the relief will come.

Retroactive steps: It would probably be nice for me to go and visit my old boss and show her my children and tell her about my new life.  She would probably like that.  Eleven years ago I told her I was going to Ireland for a few months and then basically never went back to the store again.  Oh, and while we're at it, I could also say hello to my old piano instructor when I see her around town.  She's another person that I used the Ireland excuse to end something with. 

Once I get better at ending things, I'll work on not starting things in the first place, also known as "learning to say no". 

Comments

[Misty]

Good post.