Last Thursday I started working on a little writing project for (a very small amount of) cold, hard, cash. It's a cliche, but I really felt like I was splitting into two. Before then, even if I was doing a few different things not related to child-rearing, I certainly didn't have anything that could be called a job. So I was pretty much wholly in my MomMind. On Thursday, while my mom watched M'hijo, I entered my JobMind for the first time in a very long while. It was stressful.
Friday, the stress lessened when I realized that the job I've taken on is within my skill set. On Thursday I suspected that I had gotten in over my head. By Friday afternoon, I was much more confident. I spent most of Friday getting accustomed to a strange feeling in my head that I later determined was synapses firing. It felt funny!
Sat, Sun, Mon: a little bit of work each day and "Oh I like this BALANCE! It's the BALANCE! The perfect BALANCE that all the kids are talking about! I'm so CONTENT and SATISFIED with my LIFE! O Wondrous BALANCE!"
Tuesday: I got pretty overwhelmed. M'hijo slept just long enough for me to wash a few dishes, make tea and get settled in front of Open Office for (what I thought would be) a nice relaxing little session of writing. No dice.
Today: my dad took M'hijo off my hands and things moved along well with the project. I hope to have a draft in to my bosses by Friday, provided M'hijo doesn't pull any more stunts like taking a supershort nap.
This project will be completely signed, sealed and delivered by next Friday, so it's not like I'm really wading into the deep waters of working motherhood in earnest, although I do have another little something that will keep me slightly busy between now and October, and which I will write about soon.
This is familiar territory: I did web development contracts when Sahsez was a toddler, and had even less in terms of childcare then. Still, I am older now, and demand more relaxation and downtime and pleasure from life. So some things will be different this time around.
Whatever happens, it feels good to be using my brain, learning new things, taking risks. Housewifery isn't always good at providing those sorts of opportunities.
So what is the nature of the work I'm doing exactly? Can't say really, but I will say that it's a very nice, low-pressure project that makes use of my skill set.
Well, okay, it's not so much can't say as don't want to say in this space because I don't want it to show up in web searches on the topic. However, the curious should feel free to email me and ask and chances are very good that I will tell you everything! In fact, I may talk your ear off and you will be terribly bored and regret ever contacting me! You've been warned.
It's really tough getting back into the working state-of-mind after focusing all of your attention on your child or children. Especially when they're very young. My daughter is now 12. When she was a baby, I was a work-at-home mom. I remember having to work twice as hard to get anything done but it felt good to get back into focusing and concentrating my brain on work again.
Posted by: Jennifer | March 29, 2007 at 11:49 AM