On Saturday my uncle came over from the mainland for a one-day visit. We met up with him and my dad and my sister for dim sum and then everyone came over to sit in the yard and drink margaritas and rose for the afternoon. Sounds wonderful, right? It was, mostly. But there was one little problem: M'hijo didn't nap all day.
Generally, when M'hijo and I are at home, on a weekday, it's no problem getting him down for an hour or two, once or twice a day. He's not on a rigid schedule by any means, but I can count on him to start rubbing his eyes by 11:00am at the latest, and it's not terribly difficult to get him to go to sleep.
On the weekends, all this changes. There are different people around, different needs, different priorities. Visitors, errands, parties, and everything else really throw off his nap routine.
When Sahsez was little, one of the things that made her an easy baby was that she was happy being held by anyone. I don't think she ever "made strange", and if she was upset, she could be consoled by any pair of strong, loving arms.
M'hijo, on the other hand, is a bit of a mama's boy, especially when he's tired. When he's well-rested, sure, he's happy with anybody or nobody. He can amuse himself playing with his toys, or sitting on the grass, or looking at the cat. He can lie on his back on our bed and play with his toes. If he doesn't want to be alone, the attention of any other person satisfies him. But when he starts to get tired, the field narrows. Then he needs either me or Tobias or my mom. When he hasn't napped all day, like this past Saturday, he needs me, and only me.
I enjoy holding him, of course, but not all day. After too much holding, not only is my back sore, but I start to feel really bitchy and irritated. I feel like a prisoner. I don't even want to nurse him, I just want him to disappear for a little while.
Another problem with this weekend was that I had slept with him almost the entire night on Friday and then again on Saturday night (I normally only sleep with him the second half of the night). So by Sunday morning I was really ready to be AWAY from him. At least a few feet away, for heaven's sake!
I got a little break when Sahsez and I went to church and left him home with Daddy, but when I got back, he wanted to nurse immediately and then didn't want to go down for a nap. For 90 minutes I tried to get him to take a nap. Tobias and Sahsez had gone over to Bear's house to bottle wine. I was getting wiggy. I decided to let him cry it out in his crib a bit.
Man, that boy has got some lungs on him! He was unimpressed with being in his crib, really overtired, and just not digging life. He finally fell asleep after more than twenty minutes of crying. I realize some babies cry a lot longer than this on a regular basis, so I should probably just toughen up a bit, but for me, twenty minutes is a hella long time to listen to him cry.
But I must say, it was worth it. As soon as he was asleep, I started to rejuvenate. After half an hour, I had debitchified enough to go down to the grocery store with Tobias and get the ingredients for the chili we needed to make for the annual block party that was last night. Once back from the store, I was feeling so much better that we decided to make the chili together.
Cooking together is something Tobias and I have yet to master. Working in the kitchen together brings out the worst in only-child-him and the eldest-child-me. It typically becomes a power struggle, with neither of us wholly embracing the sous role that is so necessary in a well-run kitchen. But with M'hijo napping away, and working off the Podleski sisters' recipe that I've used a hundred times, it was fun and easy to cook together.
Afterward, I happily folded laundry and pottered about until the baby woke up, three hours after his screaming fit. So you see I don't need to go out and party, dance the night away, or go on a shopping spree, or anything exciting. I just need to have a bit of time away from him each day so I can remember that we are two separate beings.
Thanks to that nap, we all managed to have a nice time at the block party, where M'hijo charmed the neighbourhood, and the chili was a hit.
