Last fall, or rather "last semester", as I'm beginning to think of it, when Anna and I were working together on our CANPO (Canadian Non-Profit Organization) project, she was also going to school full-time, whereas I was merely parenting full-time. I was working on the technical end of the website in Waterloo, and she was working on the artistic stuff in Montreal. Quite appropriate, actually, since Waterloo is all techy and Montreal is all arty. Anyway, we communicated by email, and very rarely, like on the day that I was negotiating the contract with the client and freaking out and needed moral support, by phone.
On a fall Friday, I might email Anna and ask "So will you be working this weekend?", and I was always hoping the answer was yes, but frequently it was "No, I have to study. I have a (midterm/assignment/paper)", and I would be surprised and un-understanding and think "(Midterm/assignment/paper)? Who gives a rat's ass about a (midterm/assignment/paper)? There's real work, for real money to be done here!"
Looking back, I can see just how far removed I was from student life last semester. Ohp, make that "last fall" because though I am completely in the shit now, I want to try to remember that there is a life outside of school, a life that is much better, and that I was in that life as little as three months ago.
I can write a journal entry today because my Fortnight of Hell (see Footnote 1) is behind me. The FoH consisted of my having three assignments due and three midterms to write in one two-week period: a walk in the park for the childless, but a formidable task for a toddler's mother, who does all schoolwork between 8 and 10 on weekday nights.
Continuing in the theme of School is All-Consuming, I also spend a good chunk of time mired in cover letters, interview prep and the like these days, because I am a Member of the Co-op Program! hoorah! I'm glad I got in, since this was a (the?) major motivation for my current studentship.
I actually applied to the program too late to be allowed to go on a workterm this summer. I was informed that I was accepted to the program but that I would have to wait to apply for jobs for the fall term. I was also informed that co-op students have to take at least four courses per campus term. Neither of these requirements suited me, so I went in person to plead my case before the co-op boss, and I just happened to have Little Miss Extenuating Circumstances strapped to my back at the time. I swear, I didn't bring her in just to get special consideration, it's just that my scheduling is tight, and there's no time in the week that I'm not either in class or with her, so I had no choice.
But get special consideration I did. Luckily for me, the co-op boss and her staff have a "soft spot for parents". And so they should, since we bring so much to the program what with our maturity, heightened sense of responsibility, blah blah blah.
So I'll be going on a workterm this summer, provided I get a job, which I should, since I have exactly one unit of work experience and my fellow first years have for the most part exactly zero units. And the requirement that I take four courses per term has been waived, since I clearly haven't made the decision to take three courses per term out of laziness, but out of a desire to continue mothering as many hours a week as possible.
Still, I think it would be erroneous and somewhat unfair to continue to classify myself as a stay-at-home mother. I am now a Student who is a Mother and not, though it pains me to admit it, a Mother who is a Student.
Reading: mostly textbooks, but also Girls Around the House by M.A.C. Farrant, and The Diamond As Big As The Ritz and Other Stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Eating: Lasagne and angel food cake from Marg's Valentine's Day dinner
Listening to: They Might Be Giants, Flood, and always Big Muff
Footnote 1
On stress surrounding marks, and why the FoH should have to be so: On the one hand, I hope that I've gained perspective from my time away from school, and realized that marks are a trivial trivial thing. But there's a voice inside of my that says there is no fucking point to me going back to school if I don't get As. That if it's going to be this hard (and it's been a pretty hard six weeks!) then I have to get As. I have to.
On a fall Friday, I might email Anna and ask "So will you be working this weekend?", and I was always hoping the answer was yes, but frequently it was "No, I have to study. I have a (midterm/assignment/paper)", and I would be surprised and un-understanding and think "(Midterm/assignment/paper)? Who gives a rat's ass about a (midterm/assignment/paper)? There's real work, for real money to be done here!"
Looking back, I can see just how far removed I was from student life last semester. Ohp, make that "last fall" because though I am completely in the shit now, I want to try to remember that there is a life outside of school, a life that is much better, and that I was in that life as little as three months ago.
I can write a journal entry today because my Fortnight of Hell (see Footnote 1) is behind me. The FoH consisted of my having three assignments due and three midterms to write in one two-week period: a walk in the park for the childless, but a formidable task for a toddler's mother, who does all schoolwork between 8 and 10 on weekday nights.
Continuing in the theme of School is All-Consuming, I also spend a good chunk of time mired in cover letters, interview prep and the like these days, because I am a Member of the Co-op Program! hoorah! I'm glad I got in, since this was a (the?) major motivation for my current studentship.
I actually applied to the program too late to be allowed to go on a workterm this summer. I was informed that I was accepted to the program but that I would have to wait to apply for jobs for the fall term. I was also informed that co-op students have to take at least four courses per campus term. Neither of these requirements suited me, so I went in person to plead my case before the co-op boss, and I just happened to have Little Miss Extenuating Circumstances strapped to my back at the time. I swear, I didn't bring her in just to get special consideration, it's just that my scheduling is tight, and there's no time in the week that I'm not either in class or with her, so I had no choice.
But get special consideration I did. Luckily for me, the co-op boss and her staff have a "soft spot for parents". And so they should, since we bring so much to the program what with our maturity, heightened sense of responsibility, blah blah blah.
So I'll be going on a workterm this summer, provided I get a job, which I should, since I have exactly one unit of work experience and my fellow first years have for the most part exactly zero units. And the requirement that I take four courses per term has been waived, since I clearly haven't made the decision to take three courses per term out of laziness, but out of a desire to continue mothering as many hours a week as possible.
Still, I think it would be erroneous and somewhat unfair to continue to classify myself as a stay-at-home mother. I am now a Student who is a Mother and not, though it pains me to admit it, a Mother who is a Student.
Reading: mostly textbooks, but also Girls Around the House by M.A.C. Farrant, and The Diamond As Big As The Ritz and Other Stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Eating: Lasagne and angel food cake from Marg's Valentine's Day dinner
Listening to: They Might Be Giants, Flood, and always Big Muff
Footnote 1
On stress surrounding marks, and why the FoH should have to be so: On the one hand, I hope that I've gained perspective from my time away from school, and realized that marks are a trivial trivial thing. But there's a voice inside of my that says there is no fucking point to me going back to school if I don't get As. That if it's going to be this hard (and it's been a pretty hard six weeks!) then I have to get As. I have to.
